It’s Okay to Grieve – How it Makes Us Better People

I was asked today to elaborate on that, so here it goes. I’d like to share with you, strategies for getting to the other side of a crisis.

“A crisis is a terrible thing to waste.”

A crisis has been times in my life where it feels like the rug is pulled out from beneath you. Everything you knew to be true suddenly becomes irrelevant and what you thought you were certain about is now completely uncertain.

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

You may have even thought, “Wow, I knew this was going to happen.” or ” That’s not going to happen.”, and then it happens or doesn’t happen. A crisis has been the times in life where I’ve gained the most resilience, courage, and innovation. Necessity is the mother of invention and where I’ve had to, I’ve done.

Many of you have been through trying times, much more difficult than a virus. You’ve lost loved ones like I have. Some that died before their time, some that may have died alone and in heartbreaking conditions.

There are people dying now in hospitals that don’t have their families with them and it can be heartbreaking.

I guess what I wanted to do is give you a free pass, especially to the high achievers. You know who you are.

Those of you that have been responsible and are responsible for everything in your lives and the people depending on you. This is the most difficult for you. The people that are trying to take out loans, not to buy cars or houses but to feed their children and save their businesses that they’ve worked their whole lives to build.

It’s important to recognize that this is grief. This is something to grieve. Our freedom, our livelihood, and the time we’re missing with people that we love. Being with them face-to-face so that we can stay safe and perhaps save lives. It definitely saves lives.

I just want to make sure all of you know that not only is it okay to be grieving right now, to be losing sleep, or to be crying. It’s important that you do because otherwise you shove it down and it becomes a toxic mass in your body. It creates a very unhealthy situation for you and all the people that love and depend on you.

You may be saying…

  • “Kimrey that’s the last thing I want to hear, how everybody’s depending on me.”
  • “I’ve exhausted my efforts, I can’t get the loans that I need.”
  • “I haven’t gotten my unemployment check yet because it’s bogged down in all the processing.”

There are so many obstacles and I will tell you, that in this too, there is growth. There are gains to be made right now.

Taking Time to Grieve Might Not Be Optional…

It may be that the losses are at the top of your mind right now. A loss of jobs, a loss of freedom. There have been so many things that maybe we’ve lost. But there is also, a lot to be gained. I bet if you think really hard, you’ve probably been through something in your life that has been more difficult than this and you came out on the other side, a stronger person because of it.

I just want to ask that you consider that today.

Hang in there and recognize that it is in times like this that we grow resilience and courage. Perhaps find new streams of revenue, identify new ways to make money that may be far more fulfilling than what we were doing before. Maybe it’s going to bring back that sweet honeymoon feeling that we had when we first got our jobs that we were furloughed or laid off from.

When we get back to work, imagine how great that’s going to feel.

I just want to encourage you to ask for help if you need it. Grief. Recognize that what you’re going through is grief. Recognize that you might be sad and accept it. You’re human. You’re not a machine contrary to the beliefs of your children, your families, or other loved ones that think, “Oh she can get through everything.”, “He is as tough as nails.”, or “He’s come out of everything looking better and shining brighter.”

Since you’ve always done that it’s probably a good indication that you’re going to do that through this too. But sometimes if you’re one of those people that pull things out of your ass to keep things afloat, it gets a little tough and a little heavy sometime. You may be feeling resentment for it, recognize those feelings and accept them. Don’t judge yourself and don’t feel ashamed because you feel that way.

I also don’t want you to feel like it’s never going to end because this too shall pass. In the meantime, please be courageous and please be vulnerable and okay with asking for help.

Love is all Around Us

There are so many people that love you. I’m one of them, take care and let me know your thoughts. Share your feelings and get them out. If you need to get them off your chest and in a confidential safe space, True teams is here to listen any time. Look forward to talking to you soon.

Have a great weekend everybody. Stay safe.